Thursday, October 01, 2009

Don't forget to gasp..

Girls, should you ever wish to fake virginity you will be relieved to know that a kit is now available for $15 from Syria! Apparently this is a big deal in the Middle East since not being a virgin on your wedding night carries a huge stigma and possibly even physical jeopardy. The device releases a liquid which imitates blood presumably at the "appropriate moment" although I'm not clear how the mechanism knows when that is? perhaps it's a case of perfecting those pelvic floor routines.. you knew they'd come in handy one day :)



As you can probably guess the Islamic Mafia aren't at all happy about this, predictably leading figures are advocating the death penalty for anyone caught importing these devices, apparently it undermines the moral fabric of society bla, bla, bla, Sharia law, bla bla.. you get the picture. Anyway for those enlightened women who are smart enough to figure out Ebay and need such a device, don't forget a little gasp and a smile at the right moment will go a long way to ensuring none will be the wiser.

7 comments:

Chairman Bill said...

What's a virgin? Don't think I've ever met one.

Steve Borthwick said...

Obviously someone who has one of these kits? :)

Gerrarrdus said...

Dean Richards is in need of a job for a few years. Perhaps he should move into import-export?

Steve Borthwick said...

G, nice! I like what you did there :)

Elizabeth said...

Southern American women don't need a kit like this. We use vinegar to re-virginize.

Steve Borthwick said...

E, LOL, that reminds me of a very old joke (the place can be altered to suit the audience)

Q/How do you know if a Reading girl has had an orgasm?

A/She drops her chips...

Lisa said...

I have to shake my head at how islamic men still haven't gotten over the fact that women's bodies don't belong to them, and how they will go to any length to try to control them completely in lieu.

I wonder if they would be willing to adapt the proposed vinegar solution (pun intended)?