Monday, February 15, 2010

The Theology of Masturbation


Here is an interesting little document, it's what you might call an Islamic instruction manual covering issues pertaining to young people, particularly masturbation and how "evil" it is. I'm not sure what it is about the Abrahamic religions that makes them so fearful of this human behavioural universal but the stuff they make up is utterly weird, scary weird. Here is a list of physical ailments that this activity will apparently trigger,

1. It weakens the sexual organs and creates partial looseness in it.
2. It weakens the nerves generally - a result of the exertion caused by this action.
3. It affects the growth of the limbs especially the outer part of the urethra (duct through which urine is discharged from the bladder and the testicles). Hence it does not reach the limit of it’s normal growth.
4. It creates seminal (spermatic) inflammation in the testicles which causes quick ejaculation of sperm.
5. It causes pain in the vertebra column, the spinal column from which semen is ejaculated. This pain creates crookedness and twisting in the back.
6. It causes some limbs like the legs to shake and shiver.
7. It creates weakness in the cerebral glands of the brain which, in turn, weakens the power of perception and reason. Similarly, it leads to the weakness of memory.
8. It weakens the eye-sight and reduces its normal limit of vision.
9. It causes a person to become old before time.
10. It weakens the very delicate and fine nerves and veins of the sexual organs resulting in sexual impotency.
11. It causes an excessive loss of sperm by way of nocturnal emission (wet dreams).
12. It decreases the natural resistance of the body.
13. It causes harm to the four principal organs in the body viz, the heart, brain, liver and stomach.
14. It decreases the natural animal heat in the body, heat which strengthens the soul and body.
15. It causes an excessive loss of blood. Remember it takes 80 drops of blood to produce one drop of sperm. (Tajjus Sihat, pg 11)
16. It weakens the bladder.

Wow, if this was even remotely true then I don't know a single male that would have made it through puberty alive, in addition to the made up medical stuff there are some just fantastical theological conclusions drawn, for example,

Atta (Rahmatullahi alaihi) says: "Some people will be resurrected in such a condition that their hands will be pregnant, I think they are those who masturbate." (Tafsir Mazhari, vol 12, pg 94)

"Pregnant hands", really?

So watch out, God really doesn't approve of this activity; from now on I will have to take a lot more care when I write articles about bashing bishops!

2 comments:

Chairman Bill said...

Since masturbation is merely simulated sex, then one must assume that sex itself produces the same results. Incredible!

Steve Borthwick said...

CB, now we all know sex is wicked and evil, we can't have women controlling their own reproductive capacity that would be bad for the "God" business.